Our Editor gives some humble advice for first time visitors attending this year’s Amsterdam Dance Event

If you have ever been to Amsterdam Dance Event, it can be quite a daunting task to arrange a suitable time and place to meet with fellow industry to discuss ventures, meet old friends or even enjoy a drink or two without having to stand on a narrow road, dodging the native Dutch on their bikes whilst trying not to spill your beer and tapping old friends on the shoulder to say hi, but, there is a few things you need to understand as a visitor to the Dutch capital.

Our Editor Damion Pell who moved from London to The Netherlands 12 months ago has 10 helpful tips to make sure you get home ok and enjoy the most of your experience in Amsterdam. Stay tuned next week for our complete A-Z guide of what to see and where to go.

10 tips to get you through Amsterdam Dance Event​ 2015

1. Black is not a colour, it is a statement! essential if you play minimal, techno, deep house, shop at Zara, depressed, play anything “underground because, you know “you are cool” your mum washed all your pink tops and found your tops from your emo days or you actually think black is a state of mind and not a colour (this is satire)

2. Bikes are not your friend, actually, unless you are Dutch, best to avoid, as they will fuck you up (have you ever ridden a bike onto a tram line? prepare to bail

3. Don’t get messed up on the first night – yeah yeah, you are so hardcore, but dealing with random business contacts on the first (or any) day is horrible with a hangover and the Dutch are not renowned for a big fry up for breakfast, so you will suffer a horrible slow death during the day, only relying on 2 sips coffee and syrup waffles.

4. PPPPPP – this means Prior Preperation Prevents Piss Poor Performance
Download Amsterdam maps on your phone before coming over and don’t be one of those that stops a local on the street for directions when you could have easily checked it out yourself.

5. As above, sort your meetings out before you come over, it makes your stay more productive and less stressful for those you want to meet up with last minute.

6. Don’t travel to another country without trying to be polite (it is rude). Here you go, to say thank you in Dutch is Dankjewel (pronounced Dunku Vel) if you want to impress the ladies, maybe say Ik Hou Van Jou or lekkerding when you order a drink (maybe not). Just remember, the Dutch are terrible at manners (not all the time, but as a Brit, yes, all the time), but they appreciate it when you use yours.

7. Stay on the pavement. Unless you have a deathwish. Look left, right, left, right, left, left right and then left…. people in Amsterdam are not Dutch! they are a  weird hybrid of suicidal bicycle ninjas who will happily knock you down and then give you a “Traditional Dutch Insult” ie: “godverdomme” or “I will put you behind a wallpaper” or “I hope you get cancer” (yes, they are really evil the Dutch)

8. Remember when your parents used to tell you don’t take candy from strangers? Remember you are in Amsterdam. ADE is to the Dutch is more than just a high on Music – DO NOT BUY FROM STREET DEALERS. Just remember, drugs (even dope) are not legal, just tolerated (just like English Stag parties) to an extent. pleading ignorance for having what we would say Class A drugs will not work on the Politie

9. Candy aka (*cough cough*) in holland should be avoided in general. AVOID the ‘Drop’, unless you want to create a viral post on how a foreigner’s face looks whilst trying candy that is distributed only in Holland for a reason (yes, we do sit at a cafe and laugh at you as you go by, don’t be one of these we viral video laugh at)

10. Every Hollander knows you came for the Red Light District & Drugs, don’t go pretending you want to know more about Woodenshoes and Windmiles.(They’ll start strangling you with a tullip) Here is a tip that might save you a ruined holiday. Don’t take pics in the Redlight District or you might end up in the canals. As the Dutch say… “Maak geen foto’s van de meisjes achter de ramen. Je kan in de problemen komen en in het kanaal worden gegooid”

Credit should be given to Julie Bos for the translations, although I am not sure they are what I asked :-)

About the Author

Director and DJ, Ian French (Naif) is passionate about every genre of music from Breakbeat, to Drum & Bass, to Techno and House. A man that lives in a world of beats and bass, and total confusion about life!